Life, is a mystery in itself as usual. Who am I to know what is coming, who am I to fathom the events occurring around me? For I am merely human, a creation with limited wisdom.
My 2022 is still uncertain as it seems. To be honest, the job offer from Adelaide adds more uncertainties to my life than anything else. I have never thought to work in overseas. My dream was to study and enjoy university life in overseas, then return to work and settle down. Working as a doctor in Australia is never my consideration until last year. The obvious reason is, I thought I would marry an architect graduated from the UK and hence we would start our family here.
3 years ago I broke the dream I envisioned for years. To a certain extent, the broken dream still hurts. After being single for awhile, I thought why not give it a try to apply for a job in Australia. As a young doctor in the current local system, I was confused about my future. I literally had no clue. I felt that my life was still at the rock bottom. That's when I sought the Lord earnestly while throwing in a few applications in last August. I applied from a position of rest: if I got an offer I will go, if I did not then it means God wanted me to stay. I attended two online interviews, but did not get any offer. I was disappointed because I felt the rejection meant I was incompetent. However I did try to persuade myself it was God's will because I did surrender the matter to Him. But I do know in my heart, it could mean it's not time for me to go, or it is a closed door.
Then, I completed my housemanship and continued to work as a medical officer in the COVID-19 team. It was there I met a bunch of good friends, and enjoyed the best time of my working life. I had applied for job transfer back to my hometown months before. But during that brief period of time, I fell in love with a lady. Perhaps it was really a mistake, as I might be transferring back to my hometown and the relationship looked just like the fruit of convenience. I wasn't ready to commit to it in such as short time as the burden of past hurt crushing on my shoulders.
I started the new year with her and a new hope. Hoping and believing 2022 was going to be a great year. Again, circumstances changed faster than I could imagine. My beloved COVID Team was scattered to different departments in the hospital. There's when the stability I enjoyed for a few months began to shatter. I was given a department I never wanted - Paediatrics. And she had difficulties adapting to her new department too. Both of us had to cope with the unforeseen stresses and unfortunately the new relationship could not stand the test. We broke up.
I did my best to cope, made my best effort to contribute to the Paediatrics Department. To my great delight, I was granted the chance to transfer back to my hometown. It was sad to leave my beloved friends and beautiful place, but I knew I had to go home. I hoped for a chance to join Psychiatry Department - my specialty of interest. Again, as the cliche goes we do not always get what we want in life. I was asked to join Paediatrics Cardiology. Paediatrics again! My goodness. On top of that, adjusting to the life back home was not as easy as it seemed.
During that time, Adelaide emailed me to ask if I was still interested for a job. I thought to myself: Is this from God? Since it was no harm to take another interview. I tried not to build up my hope and I continued to pray. Paeds Cardiology is a nice and comfortable place but I still could not see myself to be there for at least 6 months. I needed a way out and a peace.
At this crossroad, I did not know if staying or leaving was a better choice. To me, both options had great risks. For the past few weeks I just prayed, asking God to show me a clear path. After a delay of 3 weeks, Adelaide gave me an offer.
Yes, it was a great news. It was a successful interview. I decided to accept the offer, taking it as His will for me to begin a new adventure. I am well aware that the challenges may be great over there. But if it is God who calls me out just like He called Abraham, I know He will guide my every step and He will be my strength to conquer every mountain.
I am amazed at how my year has been so far. I have never experienced change in such a fast pace in my life. At the same time, I grow a lot as well spiritually. Though I am still learning to depend on Him and walk by faith, I know He who started the faith will perfect it in due season. I do not know what the future holds, but I do know who holds the future.
May I continue to walk in favour while I behold His grace and salvation on the cross.
