Every time I see the word "minimalism", I see you. I first heard about this concept from you. I think you were already studying abroad that time. But you didn't introduce it to me per se, you just casually mentioned it in our conversations. Like when you talked about your designs, or when you said you are going to KonMari your wardrobe. That time I took minimalism as what it means as a word, without further thought.
It is only last year that I really come to know the deeper meaning and concept of the decluttering lifestyle. It's a philosophy which I have tried to embrace since then. I am a natural hoarder, I think most guys are. I hoard items, thinking they would be of use "later". I hoard memories as well, refuse to let go and move forward. Probably the worst scenario is I hoard emotions, letting bitterness eating me inside out.
However, I know I need to declutter my life. I have been carrying at least 8 years of baggage. Baggage of failures and unhealthy emotions. These are starting to slow me down, and I feel like I am an aged with wobbly knees instead of a youth with spreading wings. I lost the confidence and courage to explore and adapt. Those old dreams of living abroad have become fear of the being alone and rejected.
Now that we are no longer together, I have the new option to get out of this country. But the idea is terrifying. Over the years I lost the drive to welcome challenge and seeing them defeated at my feet. I steer clear of rowdy paths, only hide in my comfy zone. If I am to travel and start over in a new place, will I survive? What if I don't, do I have a backup plan? Will the seemingly greener side still be green when I treat upon it? I can't seem to do it all alone. I always have friends around me as my support, I always have you. What will my future be like? I am setting up myself for an unknown trajectory course.
Back to minimalism. I hope when I master the art of decluttering, my life and thought will be more organized. Perhaps you are the first in my mind to be cleared.
