WELCOME BACK NERI!
Neri, just imagine it is a giant size banner which is hung at the arrival gate.haha.
Ah,sorry for not countingdown for the last 2days,I didn't open facebook on Friday and Saturday.
I was at school from 7 to 6 and then straight away went to tuition until 9.30pm, a very tight and tiring schedule. KRS was holding Ujian Kenaikan Pangkat, we AJKs as stationers and examiners must stay under the scorching sun with the members. I as a discipline master of KRS, did a very lousy job yesterday. My body was there but my soul did not. First time in KRS activity I was not doing my best, I acted very irresponsibly and caused many problems. I neglected my role to supervise the members' discipline.
Why? Perharps I have heard seniors complaining that members are very undisciplined now, and they blamed me. As if I am the only one who is held accountable. Why they not blamed the school discipline teachers?It's a bare fact that the students of CLB are getting worse in all the aspects.
I assure you, CLB is deterioting, getting worse and worse. Teachers still keep saying what the best school of Butterworth, the school of elites, the brilliant students and all nonsense. They are just cheating themselves.
Feeling discouraged in this way, I indulged myself to be the same.hahahaha.Why should I care so much?Since no one cares? Halfway on my boring duty I ran away to chat wif Suat Boon, leaving a station with no one. As a result when I came back, scolded by Chen Xin, Zhen Jie, Jingxue and others. "YOU ARE SO IRRESPONSIBLE!WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN!" "Oh yea, I went for a walk."I answered calmly with some apologies.
Soon after they wanted to start another programme, I grabbed chance to run again, saying I wanted to photosat some documents, I went out of the school with Suat Boon. We actually went to Econsave after getting our work done. When we were back to the dull field, its time for Suat Boon to go back home. So I alone wandering around with no duty since I was not there when they had a fall in.
I felt like I was an extra one, they didn't need me at all. From the way they looked at me I sensed despise. Oh dear Matthew what were you doing. You know that kind of feeling, I knew that I was wrong but my soul was so rebelious. Although you might thing I am playful, but I will never do anything which is not right, which is irresponsible. I considered myself as a very responsible person, at least in KRS, acting as the one who is in charge of KRS disciplinary, I should be the role model of all 500 members and AJKs.
However yesterday, I ignored and neglected ALL. I was bored.
During the time I thought, why I became like that and I tried to find myself back. Am I acting so to show that what they were doing on me in my GS activity? I often thought being as good friends I should support every stuff he organized. Seemingly he did not think so, he did not being so supportive towards my club's stuff. He even jeered and laughed, exposing his true personalities for us to see.
After some struggle, I joined the Bomba test, which was backwood. I joined others under the 2pm sun to examine their cooking skills with wood fire. I nearly fainted due to the killing hot weather. After the test ended at 3pm, my soul urged me to rebel again. If they could simply ran away to do what they liked, why not I?
I went to play Ping Pong and never went back until the day ended. Seok Hui phoned me to call me back, yet my heart unmoved - I succeeded. I wanted to forgive, but was I taking revenge.
Neri, got several times I wanted to bring out my phone to text you, thinking that you might be in Penang at the moment, but I was distracted away. Sorry for disappointing you.
And Ah Jing, I am really sorry for the NIE magazine stuff. You guys looked high upon me, hoping a good work from me. I let you all down. Sorry, really sorry. I was not me. I was irresponsible...
Once again, Neri Carpe Diem - Seize the day!
P.S. - this is not a emo post k, please do not misunderstand. You can label it as apology letters.XD