Wednesday, 16 October 2013

This Is It

"The hour is near." This is what Jesus says in the bible repeatedly to His disciples of His crucifixion and His resurrection. However, this phrase keeps emerging in my head recently, reminding me the finals is just around the corner. This Friday is it.

Am I afraid? I fear not. Am I worried? The joy of the Lord is my strength. 

I have been putting into practice of what the bible has taught me. The law of confession seems very appropriate at this very moment. Whatever you speak from your mouth shall come to pass." Life and death are in the power of the tongue. -Proverbs". I will not allow negative words to slip through my mouth. I shall speak of victory but not defeat, I shall speak to the mountain and it shall be removed if I have no doubt in my heart. All I need is to stay close to Jesus, keeping the mountain-moving faith until the end of the battle.

My dream is seemingly impossible, but with God all things are possible. Just continue to trust in Him and surrender to His will.

I am grateful to have a bunch of friends like you, who always believe me I am born to do great things. You all always believe I can come out of this victoriously. Your encouragements warm my heart, even at the time of distress, your love carries me through. A long long text message from thousand of miles away, a what's app message of affirmation, all these propel me forward to do my best. I apologize if I ever lose confidence, but I promise you all I will fight this battle with faith.

And of course don't forget about the prayers of my parents day and night, my grandmother, my pastors, my fellow brothers in the Youth Fellowship. Thanks for your support through prayers and your assurance.

What I am having now is the usual feelings. Time flies, day by day, hour by hour. It seems like it is a long time for the finals to come. But I know once the exam starts, the end of it will come even faster. In a moment I will be back to celebrate Christmas, to celebrate I have gone through another trial in my life. 

I declare I am blessed, I declare God's divine favour is upon me. I declare my dreams shall come to pass. Amen.

Friday, 4 October 2013

Who am I?

I am glad I braved through the tough past two weeks. Sitting for two aptitude tests in two weeks time was pretty exhausting.

I never think of preparing ISAT ( International Student Admission Test ) and UKCAT ( United Kingdom Clinical Admission Test ). I thought since they are aptitude test, the best thing is to show up and take the tests. I only aim to equip myself for the BMAT ( Bio Medical Admission Test ) because I aspire to enter Cambridge University to study medicine.

Things changed when many of friends have taken ISAT and UKCAT. Some of their scores are high. I started to worry about what score I can attain. I decided to prepare for it, driven by peer pressure. I was really discouraged when the questions I attempted were so difficult. I stressed out, until the point of breaking down. I prayed, of course. The cause of the stress is obvious. It is not because I am lack of self confidence, it's because I wanted to be the highest scorer. I don't think I am stupid, but I don't think I am genius as well. I just wanted to have a pretty score sheet.

The result of ISAT is acceptable. I am okay with it since there weren't many questions for practice. Yesterday I sat for UKCAT. I believe I have put in a lot of effort into it, I invested 2 weeks time, I tried as many questions as I could. The outcome is rather disappointing, not because the score itself, but the fact that the score is not directly proportional to my effort.

Again, I believe God is good, all the time. I wanted to Him to bear my burden to me, but at the same time I was reluctant to let go for Him. I over stretched myself, I was trying hard on my own. Lesson learnt. I need to adjust my feelings and carry on.

I shall resume my revision for the finals which are starting in two weeks time. With interview and BMAT roll up together with the finals like a big snow ball coming on my way, I need to God's grace to sustain.

Who am I? I am God's precious creation.