Friday, 4 October 2013

Who am I?

I am glad I braved through the tough past two weeks. Sitting for two aptitude tests in two weeks time was pretty exhausting.

I never think of preparing ISAT ( International Student Admission Test ) and UKCAT ( United Kingdom Clinical Admission Test ). I thought since they are aptitude test, the best thing is to show up and take the tests. I only aim to equip myself for the BMAT ( Bio Medical Admission Test ) because I aspire to enter Cambridge University to study medicine.

Things changed when many of friends have taken ISAT and UKCAT. Some of their scores are high. I started to worry about what score I can attain. I decided to prepare for it, driven by peer pressure. I was really discouraged when the questions I attempted were so difficult. I stressed out, until the point of breaking down. I prayed, of course. The cause of the stress is obvious. It is not because I am lack of self confidence, it's because I wanted to be the highest scorer. I don't think I am stupid, but I don't think I am genius as well. I just wanted to have a pretty score sheet.

The result of ISAT is acceptable. I am okay with it since there weren't many questions for practice. Yesterday I sat for UKCAT. I believe I have put in a lot of effort into it, I invested 2 weeks time, I tried as many questions as I could. The outcome is rather disappointing, not because the score itself, but the fact that the score is not directly proportional to my effort.

Again, I believe God is good, all the time. I wanted to Him to bear my burden to me, but at the same time I was reluctant to let go for Him. I over stretched myself, I was trying hard on my own. Lesson learnt. I need to adjust my feelings and carry on.

I shall resume my revision for the finals which are starting in two weeks time. With interview and BMAT roll up together with the finals like a big snow ball coming on my way, I need to God's grace to sustain.

Who am I? I am God's precious creation.