The Fault In Our Stars

It has been quite a long time since I wrote about a movie. This movie is about the love story between two pernicious cancer patients. Frankly, I almost cried when I was watching the movie. But many thoughts came after the movie while I reflected on the story.

Everyone has problems. This is sort of a truth I arrive at after contemplating about life this year. And regardless of the intensity of the problem, as in no matter it is big or small, it deserves full attention and help to be solved. Just as there is no standard answer in life, some problems cannot be solved, you have to live with it. However, there is a possibility which the intensity of the problem can be reduced to a minimum level. The emotions elicited by the problems can be alleviated by tools. One easy method is to count your blessings, to be thankful for all things. I still have a healthy body, I have eyes ears nose mouth limbs which are functioning.

I do not have cancer.

Yes, thinking about the less fortunate will make us grateful towards what we own. However, we will soon forget about it and start to magnify our own problems. Looking at the physically challenged we are glad that we have legs but we start to lament that we don't have shoes. Perhaps this is our nature. I am working on it too, constantly reminding and be thankful that I am well blessed in many areas. This is real tough, as I am always blinded by my grief, self-wallowing in my loss.

Come back to the movie. If you are terminally ill will you desire to love and to be loved? There is not much worries for healthy individuals to start a relationship, but it requires a lot of courage and confidence for patients like them in the movie.

When you know you are dying, what is your fear. The thought of Augustus Waters best represents mine. How will I be remembered. Like him, I wanted to be great, to stand out of the 7 billion. Finally Hazel Grace enlightened him, and me too. I often hear a whisper in my mind, to achieve greatness one must be brought low first. Just like the bible says, those who want to be the head must be the tail, and the tail will be the head.

Okay.

寂寞时光

今天考的是高教部制定为必修科的种族关系和伊斯兰和亚洲文明。这个学期每个周末还要上课，罪魁祸首就是这两个科目。

之前上课也没什么听讲，小考也是大家一起用荧幕作答的，所以面临这次大考时还有些紧张。原本已经下载了讲义准备好好地读过一遍，但后来去了学生事务部一趟，得知我已经及格了。于是，我轻松地渡过了昨天。

考完试后没有立刻回家是很痛苦的一件事情，这是因为同学们都返乡了，。也许我应该说从今年开始这将会是很煎熬的。以前，觉得在这里呆多几天也好，可以很自由。趁着没朋友找的几天好好地干自己平常上课想干却不能干只好把它写在笔记本里等到假期才干的事情。比如说，一个人在房间里看电影或书籍。除此之外，我通常会开心地拉着一个人的手去吃东西或逛街。对了，还有逛书局！它是在广场里继电影院后我最想光顾的景点。总之，就是很享受独自一人没事做的心情，可以没有压迫感地做自己喜欢做的事。

但，那都是以前。现在觉得自己一个人在那么宽阔的空间很落寞。我渐渐失去一个人生存的能力。我需要在一个群体里，或至少也要有一个人陪我。单独一人时我会仿佛失去了方向感。室友去了新加坡，回到无人封闭的房间会窒息。因此，接下来的几天如何渡过是我生存下来的关键。

我盲目地想融入一个群体里，不过我却不想放弃自己的自由。跟随一群朋友就必须配合他们的时间。而大家总会把时间耗费在等待上。一个午餐地点的决定也很耗时。寂寞还是自由？也许现阶段还是不要寂寞好。

四处游走一段时间后，决定在图书馆更新部落格。过后的时间，再看着办吧。

哦对了，我还有X计划。