The Fifth Poster

Yes, I am a fifth poster now. Finally the time has come.

When I first started as a House Officer two years ago, I looked up to them - the fifth posters who were working with me. I was new, and dumb in many ways. I needed time to adjust to adulthood and the working environment. I did things slowly, couldn't cope with the sudden overwhelming workload. On the other side, the seniors were so much efficient. They were so capable. They were people I turned to when I needed guidance and help.

Thankfully, I adjusted to the tempo and pace after 2 weeks, picking up skills along the way. I still admire them but I know they can make mistakes as well. And weeks later I started to see some of them were scolded by medical officers and specialists too. 

'You should know better as a fifth poster!'

'How could you make such a mistake!'

I was given a certain degree of leniency because I was a junior. They didn't have such mercy. I thought to myself that time, ah I have a year to buck up, so I won't be despised.

Well now I am here. I don't think I can avoid such fate. After all, competency has a certain amount of subjectivity in it. I do not know all and I cannot possibly know all.

Brace myself for the comments and criticism. I have felt the weight of being a senior since this rotation. It will be getting heavier and heavier.

The stethoscope on my shoulder is heavy, as always.