Satan Appears In Church

A few minutes before the church services started, the congregation was sitting in their pews and talking. Suddenly Satan appeared at the front of the church.

Everyone started screaming and running for the back entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate. Soon the church was empty -- except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew without moving, seemingly oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy was in his presence.

So Satan walked up to the man and said, "Do you know who I am?"

The man replied, "Yep, sure do."

"Aren't you afraid of me?" Satan asked.

"Nope, sure ain't," said the man.

"Don't you realize I can kill you with one word?" asked Satan.

"Don't doubt it for a minute," returned the old man, in an even tone.

"Did you know that I can cause you profound, horrifying agony for all eternity?" persisted Satan.

"Yep," was the calm reply.

"And you're still not afraid?" asked Satan.

"Nope," said the old man.

More than a little perturbed, Satan asked, "Why aren't you afraid of me, old man!?"

The man calmly replied, "Been married to your sister for 48 years."

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Lame Joke 27

John and Mary visit their pastor for marriage counseling.

The pastor gets up and hugs Mary, and sits down.

He gets up and hugs Mary a second, and third time,

and then turns to John and says,"See that, John. Mary needs that EVERY DAY!"

John replies, "Well, that's fine, Pastor. But I can't bring her over here except on Tuesdays and Thursdays."


Hahahaha~Take a Break,Have a KitKat,Read a Joke,Have a NiceDay. =]

Raya Holidayz

Ha~I still have four wake-up-late days.XD

Well,I planned a very good study timetable for this holidays,but it is really hard to follow it.

One only thing I'd follow is 'resting' and 'playing' column.

So,I decided to really start to revise seriously,no jokes.

Yan Yi's mother has limited his time to on9.I dunno why.On the other hand,Jeff is always on the web,24 hours a day,7 days a week.I thought Jeff is managing online 7-11.XD

Yea!!This Sunday will be a wonderful day!One gathering and one dinner to chase.

I will be having a family gathering at my father-side cousin's condo near Penang Queensbay Mall.

At night,I will follow my family to our new condominium at Jalan Raja Uda. The developers have obtained O.C. for the building and is going to hold a dinner for to-be-residence.Of course,my new small condo is not as grand as my cousin's. This will be the place for Jeff and YanYi to stay if they come to visit me.And yet check out who is their real,genuine 'da shao'.XD muahahahaha~


Matthew~Selamat Hari Raya.

Ah~nearly forgotten.Happy Birthday to Gay Han The Grey!!

Lame Joke 26:Mouse Droppings

An eagle swoops down from the sky and eats a mouse.

Three hours later, while the eagle is flying, the mouse sticks its head out of the eagle's butt and asks,

"How high up are we?"

"About 2,000 feet," the eagle replies.

The mouse replies, "You ain't sh*ttin' me, are you?"

Selamat Hari Raya!!

Selamat Hari Raya

Here I wish all Malaysian Happy Raya!!!

Long time ago,I went to my neighbour's rumah terbuka before, about 10 years ago.hehe~

I forgot how the house looked like,but I do remember the food!!!

Since then,I never been to rumah terbuka d.why?The neighbour shifted.

I think this holidays I possibly will remain at home, eat books instead of kuih.However, I have a funny feeling that I will really take it as holidays,idle and sit in front of computer!!Can someone help me out?It isnt I dunwan to study,but I am not the kind of ppl that can stay infront of books all day~a minute or so, I will stand up and go round the house and sit back.

Anyway,wish those who are exam-free have a very happy holidays.XD



Matthew~I wish u'll never see me here again for next 25 days... ...

Baseball In Heaven

Two old men, Abe and Sol, sit on a park bench feeding pigeons and talking about baseball. Abe turns to Sol and asks, "Do you think there's baseball in Heaven?"

Sol thinks about it for a minute and replies, "I dunno. But let's make a deal -- if I die first, I'll come back and tell you if there's baseball in Heaven, and if you die first, you do the same."

They shake on it and sadly, a few months later, poor Abe passes on. Soon afterward, Sol sits in the park feeding the pigeons by himself and hears a voice whisper, "Sol... Sol...."

Sol responds, "Abe! Is that you?"

"Yes it is, Sol," whispers Abe's ghost.

Sol, still amazed, asks, "So, is there baseball in Heaven?"

"Well," says Abe, "I've got good news and bad news."

"Gimme the good news first," says Sol.

Abe says, "Well, there is baseball in Heaven."

Sol says, "That's great! What news could be bad enough to ruin that?"

Abe sighs and whispers, "You're pitching on Friday."

LIVERPOOL HAS CHANGED CLUB SPONSOR!!

I noe many of u have knew this news a couple of days ago...

What a sad news for me indeed!!

why??

The Carlsberg sign in front of Liverpool's jersey will be replaced by Standard Charted Bank...

ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the carlsberg sign is so suitable for the club!!I dun dare to imagine how the jersey will look like with Standard Charted...

Furthermore...I told u my brother juz bought me one from Anfiel T.T

18 years...why can't more than that?

anyway,on the bright side,the amount of sponsorship is huge...$80million man!!!

I hope Benitez will have more options in the transfer season next year!!!


LIVERPOOL ROCKS!!!!!!!

ROJAK! by Suleiman Brothers

This last video marks the end of the 15Malaysia films.

COOL!!!

I must say.The animation is so so awesome. Despite the scenes are changing so fast, you can get what they want to express. Indeed, Malaysia is really Rojak like he says!!haha~

The directors,Suleiman Bros,if they put their efforts consistently,they might be another Warner Bros,own a big company and produce high quality Malaysian Movies.xD

Synopsis
A Rojak seller’s take on Malaysia’s multi-faceted social political tapestry. Made entirely with CGI special effects. Visually stunning.





-No more short films-

Tthanks for your supports-

Lame Joke 25

Did you hear about the tramp who walked up to the Jewish mother on the street and said,

"Lady, I haven't eaten in three days."

"Force yourself" she replied.


=.="

LOLLIPOP by Nam Ron

The title of the 14th video make me strongly remind of a person...

Life still goes on, my heart will go on too...

Anyway,girls,please dun stupid enough to trust a person with a lollipop in his hand...or a person with a pack of tissue papers (yess Jeffrey, I am referring to you.) XD

For boys, Jeffrey should be the most trusted friend. I feel so.You want to share,he is there;you want to listen,he is there;you want to bully,he is there;and you want to cry,he has lots of tissues.XD

Synopsis
A haunting portrayal of a pedophile preparing to hunt, interspersed with metaphors on the state of Malaysian politics.

Lame Joke 24

A lawyer named Strange died, and his friend asked the tombstone maker to inscribe on his tombstone,

"Here lies Strange, an honest man, and a lawyer."

The inscriber insisted that such an inscription would be confusing, for passersby would tend to think that three men were buried under the stone.

However he suggested an alternative: He would inscribe, "Here lies a man who was both honest and a lawyer. That way, whenever anyone walked by the tombstone and read it, they would be certain to remark: "That's Strange!"


hahahahaha~

How could this be possible??

Alamak!!Arsenal was defeated by Manchester City!!Oh no!!

How could this be possible?

Indeed it could be,after the club threw such a large money in the transfer season last summer.They are equip with many top players.

But,does many top players mean you can get the title?It seems so, but not at all.Some top players will eventually leave because they have no chance to play on the field.They are too many players,and of coz all can't play together at once.Many will leave after they sit on the bench for the entire season.

However,I really hope that MC can win the next match(against MU!!).XD

At last,Liverpool woke up!!Scored 4 last week.Good job man!!Keep it up!!


YOU'LL NEVER WALK ALONE!!!




Matthew-supportor of Liverpool.

HEALTHY PARANOIA by Khairil M. Bahar

So...do you concern about your health?Do you scared of the scary pictures printed on the cigaretts??

Do watch this 13th of the 15Malaysia.Exclusive presentation to the minister of health(not hell).

Synopsis
An over-zealous public relations consultant advises the current minister of health how to discourage unhealthy lifestyles in Malaysia.

"The Rakyat need to know this Sir!!We have to inform them!!"

DUIT KECIL by Johan John

This is the 11th video,3 more left.

Synopsis
A man finds himself without small change in a cheap brothel. Many arguments ensue and problems faced by the Malaysian common man are discussed humorously.




Remember to bring some change wherever u go.XD

METER by Benji & Bahir

This is the 11th of the 15.It talks abt national football, the importance of English and others.

Synopsis
The controversial head of UMNO Youth plays a taxi driver who is asked his views on some current Malaysian talking points. He ends up offering a keris to a Chinese boy as a gift.




Lessons I have learnt:
1)Never tell which foreign football team u support,especially to a taxi driver.XD

2)Although English is very important, do not use it to communicate with taxi driver. =]

3)Always share a gift with somebody. =)

The Keris given by the taxi driver symbolize the good relationship between races.

The Day After Trial Exam

Yesterday I had the last paper of my trial.It was Math.I think I did it quite well, besides a tiny careless mistake.

Naturally today,like all the days after exams,we can noe our results,officially or not,we still can noe how we did it.

So today,my teachers gave us Bahasa n Mandarin paper 1 answers.I got 32 correct for my BM.XD The highest of my class.Others got below 30.For mandarin,I got 7 wrongs, the lowest record of mine T.T I got 90% for Geo.Math Paper 1 all correct.

The worst of all is my KH.15 wrong answers man!!ABOLIDEBOH!!!Should be one of the lowest.

Btw today is the day 090909.Triple 9.XD what a romantic day.DUnno Jeffrey had successfully kao how many girls.I hope there are no victims.XD hahaha~



Matthew~090909

GERHANA by James Lee

So this is the 10th of the 15Malaysia. See the director's name, I don't know that Sensei James Lee noes how to make a film. Jeffrey ar, help me to ask him, why doesn't he make a film entitled "Shinobi in BU4:Action"? Then u will be famous too.But sensei will be sued by Hollywood, because they will think he copies "Kungfu Panda".XD Why?oh,it is because they will mistakenly see Jeffrey as a panda. haha~

Synopsis
Two secret lovers rendezvous in a plush hotel room while TV news is read in the background. A dark take on apathy in Malaysia.

Lame Joke 23

Just heard of this joke recently...

One day, an archeologist of New York found a copper wire after he dug 10 feet below the ground. He concludes that New York already had telephone line 100 years ago.

Another archeologist of California heard the news. He started to dig 10 feet below the ground, but found nothing. He then continued to dig for another 10 feet, he found a copper wire too. So he concludes that California already had telephone line 200 years ago, a century earlier than New York.

Again, an archeologist of Alabama got the news and started to dig the ground.10 feet...20 feet...still nothing.He decided to dig another 10 feet. At last,he found nothing below 30 feet from the ground.Without any dissapointment, he concludes that, Alabama already had wireless service 300 years ago!!


Hahahahahaha!!

SLOVAK SLING by Woo Ming Jin

The 9th one. How to bribe?First of all, you must give everything he requires.Next, give your sun glasses to him(you noe,the weather here is hot).Thirdly,you can give him all of your belongings from your Italy shirt to your Hush Puppies underwear.

Jeffrey ar,your give-off-tissue-paper trick is outdated d.Nowadays, girls won't feel touch becoz you provide tissue paper for them d.Make a change,you can follow the lessons below.

Lesson1: Take Care Of Her Pocket Money

Lesson2: Take Care Of Her 'Brother'

Lesson3: Take Care Of Her Children

Examples please watch the video.XD


Synopsis
A comedic re-enactment of how one politician tries to entice another to switch party allegiance as DVD pirates look on.








Matthew-Jeffrey Go Go Go!

Exam Week

The school trial exam started from last Tuesday, end on next Tuesday. This time we are taking the exam in the hall, not in classrooms.

You will feel more tense if you were taking exams in hall man. The atmosphere...summore lack of oxgyen...plus the hot weather...Try to imagine lah,taking exams in a hall and in a classroom is really different.

I juz get a bit panic on the first day first subject.After all,I manage to adapt to the environment(As a ninja, we must try to adapt to the environment.XD). I think I did the exam well, but got some answers wrong T.T

Next Tuesday will be the last subject-Math.Since laz term exam,I have a phobia towards Math.Why??Becoz I juz got 80 only...while ppl got 100...sob...

Nevermind,I guess Jeffrey's math is even worst.XD Jeffrey!You are my comfort!!!Thanks a lot.



Matthew

Lame Joke 22

Why'd the boy eat his homework?




Because his teacher told him it was a piece of cake!



Hahahahahaha!


Matthew

ONE FUTURE by Tan Chui Mui

This is the 8th of the 15.Politician Tian Chua cast as the citizen that was arrested because he shouted for help during an emergency. -__________-


Synopsis
An edgy and powerful science fiction story of a society where everything is perfect, except no one is allowed to speak.







Matthew