Believe

What is a belief? What is faith? What is positivity?

I have been in search of the formula of success since primary school. I have read many self-help books and attended many motivational talks. Non fiction section of the bookstore is always my only stop ever since I completed high school. Those books, along with the arguments in them, are refreshing and motivating to me as I read them. I am going to change and make an impact. My life will be different from now on. I am going to be a high achiever. I believe most people would feel the same while reading those inspiring words. Unfortunately, the effect won't last long, at least that is true for me.

Growing up from a Christian background, I am very inspired and intrigued by the teachings of Jesus too. As I grow older, I started to scrutinize what is the true meaning of them and how to apply them in life. I do struggle with some of them as I cannot see the promises of God fulfilled in my life. However, undeniably there is a great number of lives impacted by the gospel all over the world in the past two thousand years. If not, Christianity will be become such a powerful movement in history. Even now, the gospel is still impacting and bringing hope to a lot of people.

My question is always why not me. This is quite a common question asked by us the 'second generation' of Christians. 'Second Gen Christians' means our parents are converted to Christianity and we are 'born' to be Christians. Our parents had experienced God in a way that caused them to convert. We always loathe about we don't have life changing experience with God. 

To cut the story short, I always wonder why others can experience such a marvelous breakthrough while some still struggle. Which part of the bible verse I miss? What is the secret ingredient I lack? Do I not have enough faith? Is it because my disbelieve? At last I know what is the problem. It is not that I don't believe, it is more of I don't believe enough. Just like what read from the self-help genre, there is great power in believing. They say if you believe you can, then you truly can. Impossible is actually I'm possible, The mountain moving faith mentioned in the bible. 

I know Christ loves me and died for me on the cross. The bible is full of how deep and perfect the love of God is for us. I know about them since young. John 3:16 and other passages. Perhaps all the while these are only bible knowledge to me. Do I truly believe those words? I have to have an honest heart check with myself. Do I believe the entire bible is irrefutable as I believe the earth is round? Yes, I believe my sin is forgiven via Christ, I have no doubt in my salvation. However, how about other promises spoken by Jesus Himself? That God cares about me so much, He numbered my hair and He has good plans for me even before I am born.

Well, I believe them too. But I must admit it is not with the same conviction I believe the earth is round. I think this is the reason why my life is not fulfilling. The testimonies from my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ have one thing in common: they believed. Just like the figures mentioned in the bible. That is the key. Believe. Believe without a shadow of doubt, believe with one hundred percent. Only when the gospel truths truly sink in to the bottom of my heart, my life will change. How should I do it? Keep on pursuing Jesus, the ways I have known, with new revelation about Him each day.

I think that high level of conviction in our belief system is the basis of most self-help books and positive psychology too. There are a lot of examples in the world where people eventually succeed when they are fully convicted in whatever they do. I do find similarities in the bible and those theories too. For example is gratitude and speaking positive words. And I try to find out what is the difference between my faith and positive psychology. Up to now, my conclusion is this is the way God intended for us to live on earth, those theories are just coincidental evidence.