1st of November

So here comes another new month, exam is going to end soon, but we still have third quarter of the papers to scribble.

Day by day, I depend on His grace and mercy to sustain. I do feel down sometimes, being all alone in the dorm. However, I will quickly sing a song of worship, and my spirit knows He is near.

The interview wasn't too bad, I will continue to believe in Him, let go of every mistakes I have made. BMAT is just around the corner, I will just surrender and commit the test unto Him.

Ohya, after the end of this final battle, I shall celebrate the victory by going to the cinema for Hunger Games 2! Yeah, still remember I watched the first episode after a success as well.

I will probably go back right after exam, and come back to Subang again on 25th for Monash medical interview for both Sunway and Clayton campuses. Neri! Do give me some tips about it.

Alright! See you guys!

This Is It

"The hour is near." This is what Jesus says in the bible repeatedly to His disciples of His crucifixion and His resurrection. However, this phrase keeps emerging in my head recently, reminding me the finals is just around the corner. This Friday is it.

Am I afraid? I fear not. Am I worried? The joy of the Lord is my strength. 

I have been putting into practice of what the bible has taught me. The law of confession seems very appropriate at this very moment. Whatever you speak from your mouth shall come to pass." Life and death are in the power of the tongue. -Proverbs". I will not allow negative words to slip through my mouth. I shall speak of victory but not defeat, I shall speak to the mountain and it shall be removed if I have no doubt in my heart. All I need is to stay close to Jesus, keeping the mountain-moving faith until the end of the battle.

My dream is seemingly impossible, but with God all things are possible. Just continue to trust in Him and surrender to His will.

I am grateful to have a bunch of friends like you, who always believe me I am born to do great things. You all always believe I can come out of this victoriously. Your encouragements warm my heart, even at the time of distress, your love carries me through. A long long text message from thousand of miles away, a what's app message of affirmation, all these propel me forward to do my best. I apologize if I ever lose confidence, but I promise you all I will fight this battle with faith.

And of course don't forget about the prayers of my parents day and night, my grandmother, my pastors, my fellow brothers in the Youth Fellowship. Thanks for your support through prayers and your assurance.

What I am having now is the usual feelings. Time flies, day by day, hour by hour. It seems like it is a long time for the finals to come. But I know once the exam starts, the end of it will come even faster. In a moment I will be back to celebrate Christmas, to celebrate I have gone through another trial in my life. 

I declare I am blessed, I declare God's divine favour is upon me. I declare my dreams shall come to pass. Amen.

Who am I?

I am glad I braved through the tough past two weeks. Sitting for two aptitude tests in two weeks time was pretty exhausting.

I never think of preparing ISAT ( International Student Admission Test ) and UKCAT ( United Kingdom Clinical Admission Test ). I thought since they are aptitude test, the best thing is to show up and take the tests. I only aim to equip myself for the BMAT ( Bio Medical Admission Test ) because I aspire to enter Cambridge University to study medicine.

Things changed when many of friends have taken ISAT and UKCAT. Some of their scores are high. I started to worry about what score I can attain. I decided to prepare for it, driven by peer pressure. I was really discouraged when the questions I attempted were so difficult. I stressed out, until the point of breaking down. I prayed, of course. The cause of the stress is obvious. It is not because I am lack of self confidence, it's because I wanted to be the highest scorer. I don't think I am stupid, but I don't think I am genius as well. I just wanted to have a pretty score sheet.

The result of ISAT is acceptable. I am okay with it since there weren't many questions for practice. Yesterday I sat for UKCAT. I believe I have put in a lot of effort into it, I invested 2 weeks time, I tried as many questions as I could. The outcome is rather disappointing, not because the score itself, but the fact that the score is not directly proportional to my effort.

Again, I believe God is good, all the time. I wanted to Him to bear my burden to me, but at the same time I was reluctant to let go for Him. I over stretched myself, I was trying hard on my own. Lesson learnt. I need to adjust my feelings and carry on.

I shall resume my revision for the finals which are starting in two weeks time. With interview and BMAT roll up together with the finals like a big snow ball coming on my way, I need to God's grace to sustain.

Who am I? I am God's precious creation.

Wake Me Up When September Ends

This song from Green Day was my favourite a few years back.

It constantly reminds me time flies and how many Septembers have past. September represents a new start of academic year of universities in many countries, the end of it perhaps signifies there are 8 months time left to achieve your goals.One should wake up and make use of the time remaining.

In the next September, I shall journey to the place that I dream of. A dream which is fulfilled and the beginning of another one.

望远

考完预试，我回来了。我是带着完全放假的心情回到我的家乡的。从去年回来时行李箱里一半是课本，到如今行李箱里只有一本练习簿，我的思想与心境产生了变化。

这是什么样的变化，该怎么说好呢。就说它是成熟吧。成熟总是伴随着成长，成长就是时间的成果。过去的一年，是我人生刻骨铭心的一段。我打开心扉，接受了人总会改变的事实，不必受制于别人口中一句“你变了”，也不再向往成为另一个老顽童周伯通。不再活在别人的眼里，不再活在自己给自己的框框里。

由于课业的压力，我承认我有点忧郁了。也许我不再像以前一样无乐不作，也许你觉得我最近的笑容消逝了。我不会狡辩，不会解释，因为我成熟了。这是我的过程，就像蝴蝶，我现在在蛹里折腾，等待破蛹而出的惊艳。

话说回来我的忧郁是来自课业，我其实还是一样四处蹦蹦跳跳，笑开怀。就算笑容消失，还有可爱存留。有时你在一些人面前真的不想说笑。

难得游子回乡，不好好陪陪家人，好好休息，真的是有点不孝了。有句话说别把工作带回家，那学生也别把课业带回乡吧。除非你的是读书假，但假如是读书假，也就干脆别回乡了，读书效率会高一些。

说到望远，马条别有一番体会。自中学开始，每逢考试苦读，读得烦了，便起来学古代书生边走边吟，走到阳台，举目一看，美景尽收眼帘。啊，压力少了许多。看看上帝所造的大地花草，心中对上帝的大能称颂连连。抬头望天，无边无际，人算什么。

只可惜考试将近，无法花太多时间倚在阳台上。心里说“考完试后我一定会看个够”。谁知考完试，就觉得站在那里真的是太浪费时间了。怎么在没时间时就希望有些空闲，在空闲时不想做没时间时想做的事。这就是所谓的犯贱？

对了，新的大学名单出炉了，感谢上帝。

加把劲

很快的，预试前奏曲又在耳边响起。然而，这一次美妙的音符里参杂着许多人的哀叹声，老师都来不及赶课了，更何况是学生。

刚出炉的成绩让我再次见证了上帝的同在，凡事交托，心里负担就少了许多。原本以为自己会附和大众的怨声哭诉读不完，却惊讶自己竟能如此淡定。那是马条独一无二的淡定，那是马条不甘随波逐流的傲气。我也读不完，但每天四处哭诉也对考试帮不上忙，反而灭了自己的信心。心里其实没那么压力，觉得尽了自己最大的努力就好，其他的有上帝安排。

我还是会加把劲，用尽浑身力气拼死一战，因为只有这样才算上尽了最大的努力。这不意味着我会废寝忘食地啃，只是不会浪费时间在不必要的事情上。

就让我淡定地陶醉在二零一三年最后一场预试进行曲，享受学生独有的读书甜。